Vista Redneck Pond - Hosting Great Pool Parties Since 2006
Chamber of Commerce Description
Boise is a town that is not afraid to reinvent itself. This means that places in our fair city can and do change their identities as we pass from year to year. At the south end of Vista Avenue, on the site of what used to be a Quality Inn, we are reminded of this fact. In the name of safety and lower insurance premiums, the proprietors of this re-christened apartment complex filled in the old motel swimming pool with an attractive mix of sand and gravel. Then they sold all the old pool equipment, locked the pool-house doors, and called it good. Problem solved indeed.
Some might even call this move a stroke of genius. Kids can now play around the pool without adult supervision, and they can even look for neat little specks of iron pyrite or trilobite fossils in the pool itself, all without the risk of a watery death. Without a doubt, it is 500% safer than playing in the nearby New York Canal. Also, the lovely female inhabitants of the apartment complex can still lay out on the surrounding concrete in the summer and wave to the motorists passing by on Vista, all while they support our tax system by chain-smoking Marlboro Lights. Your son just might have books in second grade this year because of those nice ladies, so make sure you stop by and say hello. But beware: the parking lot is for tenants only.
I haven't seen one of these since the last time I visited my cousin Ricky in Mississippi. He used to have some rockin' parties in his back yard around his pond, but after the second family dog died during a game of redneck polo, his wife made him fill in the pond so no more of her precious hound dogs would drown. So Ricky drove all over Jackson collecting old furniture, tractor tires, Christmas trees, oil drums, and anything else he could find. It took him a full three-day weekend and 25 pickup loads to gather up enough stuff. Then he rented a backhoe and broke open a hole on the dam end of the pond, which flooded his neighbor's yard and also left bluegill and largemouth bass all over it.
When I showed up a week later, the place still stunk like rotting, sun-baked fish, and his neighbor had gone camping up near Memphis just to escape it. By that time Ricky had dumped all the stuff he'd collected into the hole and filled it with all the free dirt, sand, and rock he could find or steal. It was a pretty sad sight, but we still had one hell of a party that night. Instead of playing redneck polo, we played redneck Jesus. The old pond was still shifting and sinking, and if you could run all the way across the top after dark and six beers, it was indeed a miracle.
|Boise-the-Great Name:||Vista Redneck Pond|
|Artist:||Drunken backhoe operator|
|Where:||2717 S. Vista Ave, Boise|
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